Writers, who needs them? They’re nothing but a bunch of nerds sitting in Starbucks with their MacBooks, sipping on skinny chai lattes, waiting for “inspiration to strike.” Yeah, sure, you haven’t had a paying job in weeks, but your new script is really coming along. You finally found the driving thematic element behind your protagonist and I’m sure it’s just like a grittier version of Goodfellas. No, I totally get that the market just isn’t ready for a project like yours yet. Ugh, writers are just the absolute worst.
Luckily, we have those brave enough in Hollywood to say, “You know what, this script is garbage. I’m going to do my own thing!” Thanks to those brave souls, we’ve been given some of the most memorable moments in movie history! So, next time some Hollywood bigshot is thinking of paying some smelly hipster thousands of dollars to scribble words on a page, just remember this list of the top 10 unscripted lines in movie history. Remember to give us a writing credit when you do.
[Editor’s note: These thoughts and opinions in no way reflect the views of Stars & Popcorn, LLC or its subsidiaries. The “writer” is just being a whiny bitch because his script has been rejected by pretty much every studio out there, proving he’s wasted five years of his life.]
10. “Take the Cannoli.”
Who Said it: Peter Clemenza (Richard Castellano)
The Godfather is perhaps one of the most beloved movie of all time. Well, guys love it: Tom Hanks even says so in You’ve Got Mail (Yes, I’ve seen You’ve Got Mail. I’m not a complete monster). The actual line is, “Leave the gun, take the Cannoli,” which is brilliant because it shows just how indifferent the characters are to murder. Just by adding three words, Castellano added a new layer to his character and upped the stakes for everyone else in the film. Not because he was necessarily a threat to them, but because it became all the more apparent what kind of world the characters inhabited: One where you steal dessert from a dead man.
9. “Like Tears in the Rain.”
Who Said it: Roy Batty (Rutger Hauer)
O.K., so I might be a little biased when it comes to Blade Runner, but this is one of the most moving lines in the entire film. After thoroughly kicking the crap out of Harrison Ford, Hauer sits in the rain delivering a touching, philosophical monologue about the fear of death and everything that it implies. The gist of it is that with the death of Roy Batty all the moments he’s witnessed, all his memories, will be lost forever. At the end, Hauer added the final line, “like tears in the rain.” Sure, it’s a little cheesy, but it’s also incredibly powerful. It’s like frosting on a delicious cake, and it would look great on a tombstone. In fact, I suddenly feel inspired to amend my will.