This week we look at one of Hollywood’s most rampant plot devices: The brother. As any movie fan will tell you, there are an obscene number of brothers that pop up on the silver screen. Heck, everyone and his mother seems to have one, which is why we didn’t want to count down the best or worst of all time. Instead, these are the top 10 most memorable.
You’re probably asking, “What exactly does this mean?,” to which we say, “Stop second-guessing us, damn it!” If you’re still asking, then we’re going to admit that this is a list of brothers that sprang fondly to mind when we pondered the significance of the brother in movies. The only rule we had is that the brother (or brothers) had to play a prominent role in the film. He couldn’t, for example, just be there as a convenient way to close a loophole in the film’s script. So, here you have it: A list of some of our most memorable movie brothers.
10. Sloth (The Goonies)- Heeey yooou guuuys! That’s right, everyone’s favorite Superman shirt-wearing behemoth (or at least ours) is, in fact, a brother. The big guy (played by defensive lineman John Matuszak) is the black sheep of the Fratelli crime family, mostly because he looks like a five-year-old drew him, and not a very artistic one at that. Still, the big guy saves a bunch of kids from getting murdered (yeah, they would have been killed if it weren’t for him) and earns a Baby Ruth for his efforts. Not only that, but we’re pretty sure Chunk never had to do the truffle shuffle again after that, which we have very mixed feelings about.
9. Edgar and Alan Frog (The Lost Boys, The Lost Boys: The Tribe and The Lost Boys: The Thirst)- There might be two sets of brothers to choose from in The Lost Boys, but we’re going to go with the weird ones played by Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander. These self-proclaimed vampire hunters make use of themselves as they stand against one of the ultimate forces of evil, Kiefer Sutherland. All joking aside, the brothers showed up in two direct-to-video sequels, but we like to remember them as the little wankers whose best advice was to stake your brother if he was hanging out with vampires. They might not be on the same level as Van Helsing or Blade, but we’d like to see them go after Twilight.