There are a lot of great movie dads out there that have inspired us all over the years. We here at Stars & Popcorn think that’s adorable and all, but we decided that it’s time to pay tribute to the silver screen fathers that kick the most ass. So, we compiled a list of characters that make their children’s prom dates tremble in fear as they sobbingly try to wrench their hand from a vice like grip. That’s right: We’re talking about dads whose kids probably never got picked on in school, mainly because making fun of them would be a death wish.
Of course, most of these guys probably won’t win any father of the year awards; everyone’s got a few daddy issues. But we think sometimes that saving your kid’s life can make up for missing a few Little League games, especially if you were away on “business.” So, it’s time to sit back and enjoy a list of patriarchs who are more at home getting C4 explosives than macaroni art on Father’s Day.
[Author's note: The staff of Stars & Popcorn love their daddies very much and aren't trying to say that these dads are any better. Maybe just a little less embarrassing.]
10. Kyle Reese (Terminator)- Sure, Kyle wasn’t really around to toss the old pigskin with John when he was growing up, and that kinda sucks. But the guy traveled back in time and fought a robotic Austrian to ensure the birth of his future son (yeah, paradoxes and ish are par for the course in the Terminator movies), and that makes him pretty bad-ass. To be fair, he got plenty of time to hang out with his boy after Judgment Day, but I don’t really think they ever got the chance to enjoy a Braves game or hit the whore house (not hinting at anything, dad). Still, Kyle sacrificed everything for his boy, and that makes him a good dad in our books. The fact that he did it while going toe-to-toe with Arnold Schwarzenegger makes him even more admirable. I mean, can you imagine the chance that John’s bullies would have stood?
9. J.J. McQuade (Lone Wolf McQuade)- They say never to come between a grizzly bear and its cub. Well, the same can be said for coming between a Chuck Norris and his spawn. No one would ever really argue that Lone Wolf McQuade was a good movie or that he was even a great dad: His lone-wolf attitude and love for punching arms dealers in the face often interfered with more important things, like the daddy/daughter dance (a concept that I still find a little creepy). Still, when his kid was kidnapped, shot and punched by David Carradine, McQuade rose to the occasion to prove that you don’t mess with the embodiment of Texas, or his kid.
8. Don Vito Corleone (The Godfather)- Now here’s a dad who knows exactly how to treat people, especially on this, the day of his daughter’s wedding. Vito probably wasn’t around a lot as his kids grew up, what, with bootlegging and whacking people and what-have-you, but he worked hard to get where he is so that he could give his family a better life that the younger, Robert DeNiro version of himself ever had. Plus, the guy knew how to party and to take care of anyone who troubled the family. So, he couldn’t have been all bad, just because he taught his kids how to dissolve a body instead of how to resolve conflicts with words. Then again, his kids were never really the passive type.
7. Bob Parr (The Incredibles)- On the surface, Mr. Incredible might seem like a selfish guy in the middle of a midlife crisis. Then again, Pixar hardly ever lets you take things at face value. The man just wanted to be himself, which eventually led to his family being themselves too. After all, at his heart, he only wants what’s best for them. Also, the fact that he’s a world-renowned superhero adds a few points to the cool-dad factor. The only thing that made the choice to include him on this list was figuring out if he deserved the honor over another famous Disney dad, Mufasa. Mufasa went out like a punk though, which means the title goes to Mr. Incredible.
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