Recently one of our writers was subjected to the film In Time, and after taking a few days to recover, we decided to sit down and cheer him up by coming up with a list of the greatest singers who took to the silver screen. This lead to a heated debate over who should make the list, and it ended a few hours later with one of us breaking a bottle on the table and screaming, “I swear to God, I’ll cut you!”
We soon found that although we might disagree on who deserves praise, we could at least all agree on who deserves shame. Minutes later we shook hands, once more as friends and colleagues, and compiled our third ever Top 10 Worst list. After all, it seems fitting to honor those people who have in time tempered our resolve to continue reviewing movies (if only by pushing our patience and sanity to their bounds). That being said, we offer up the top 10 worst singers to grace the silver screen.
The only rules we followed were that they had to have careers as singers before they tried acting. Hence Miley Cyrus, Hillary Duff, Zac Effron, and Justin Bieber are disqualified (Bieber because a pseudo documentary doesn’t count… It never counted).
10. Snoop Dogg
It pains us to do this, especially because he seems like such a good guy on the Comedy Central roasts, but Snoop has made some terrible movies. We realize that he’s got a loyal following that will probably end up killing us for putting him on this list, but even the grisliest act of violence could not erase that Soul Plane happened. We’d be declared martyrs to the cause of Truth.
That being said, he’s fine in small doses. In fact, he’s great at cameos. It’s when you cast him with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson that we start to get really uncomfortable really quickly.
9. Elvis Presley
That’s right. We dare say it. Elvis made some pretty lame-ass movies.
Calm down, Grandpa. We’re not challenging his greatness as a musician (though one of our staff writers will if provided enough to drink… I love holiday parties). However, anyone able to look us in the eye and say that a movie called “Clambake” is a great film is a liar. A quick glance through his extensive IMDb page entices only one’s primal masochistic compulsions: Tickle Me? Kissin’ Cousins? Harum Scarum? Are you kidding us?.
On the other hand, it is pretty awesome when other people play Elvis in movies. We’re looking at you, Bruce Campbell.