The battle against remakes is one that movie nerds are never going to win, especially when it comes to horror flicks. I know most of you out there are of the mindset that any remake must be crap, and to a certain degree you might be right. However, there have been some damn fine remakes over the years (Piranha 3D, Evil Dead, The Hills Have Eyes, I could go on), and with how far technology has come, there’s the potential to make some truly terrifying monsters and killers.
Don’t get me wrong: I hate the fact that Hollywood seems to have given up on coming up with original ideas, but just because it isn’t an original idea doesn’t mean that there can’t be an original twist on it. That’s why this week we’re taking a look at horror movies that could stand a good reboot (that’s reboot, not remake). I’m not saying that the originals were crap. In fact, a lot of them were classics. But that doesn’t mean that a fresh coat of paint would hurt. So, before you start rioting, just hear me out, and as always, make sure you let me know what you think in the comments section below.
10. C.H.U.D.- Ah, the 80s. What a time to be alive and making movies, mostly because they would make anything back in the 80s and release it in theaters. It truly was the golden age of horror flicks. That being said, the golden age was filled with God-awful scary movies. Before hardcore fans demand that I be quartered in the streets, imagine C.H.U.D. with the likes of horror master Tom Savini doing creature effects and a director with a proven track record when it comes to remakes, like Alexander Aja, and you might just have the makings for a pretty solid horror movie. That’s especially because he has experience with mutants (The Hills Have Eyes).
9. The Howling- It’s been a long time since we’ve had werewolves on the big screen ripping things apart – at least werewolves that weren’t all broody – which is why I think that The Howling deserves a proper reboot. Yeah, there have been sequels over the years, but they’ve been rapidly deteriorating since the original. The first film featured a female protagonist, so I’m thinking that the director of The Descent (Neil Marshall) just might have what it takes to create a strong female lead that could fight back against the werewolves hunting her. Recently, Marshall has been moving away from horror, but I think he should take another swing at it.
8. Phantasm- To be honest, I don’t really get why Phantasm has such a hardcore cult following. I mean, it’s not a terrible film, but it’s not something I ever would have imagined being as popular as it turned out to be. Hence, I’m putting it on this list just because I think it deserves a chance to live up to its own hype. As far as directors go, I’m leaning toward Sam Raimi, who cut his teeth with another cult classic, The Evil Dead. Since then, he wandered away from horror, but he returned with the movie Drag Me To Hell. It’s his history with optical illusions, though, that I think would really give a reboot that something extra to make it a truly great film.
7. Children of the Corn- Kids are really creepy, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. However, a movie about killer children in Nebraska would be pretty cool, especially if there was a supernatural twist tossed in there. That’s why Scott Derrickson, who is probably best known for the film Sinister, would be a perfect fit for a reboot of this franchise. After all, he’s got experience working with kids and certainly knows how to make them scary as hell. Imagine what he could do with a whole town of them. Plus, he’s a guy that really knows the difference between horror and gore, but isn’t afraid to mix them both together.
6. The Funhouse- This one is an oldie but a goldie. Originally directed by Tobe Hooper (a true horror legend), the movie is about a man in a Frankenstein mask murdering pesky teens at a sleazy carnival. Personally, I can see Hatchet director Adam Green breathing new life into this film, especially by giving the murderer an even more twisted backstory. Plus, if it was rebooted, the movie could expand itself by moving outside of the funhouse and into the carnival in general (just toss some locked gates around the outside of it and the teens would still be trapped). The Funhouse is one of those classic slasher movies, and it’s been too long since we’ve had a good one of those.
5. Night of the Comet- Zombie movies are still alive and kicking (get it?), but these days is seems like most of them are direct-to-video. I have fond memories of the original (and very cheesy) Night of the Comet, which is about a meteor that passes close to Earth and infects almost everyone with radiation, turning them into zombies. When I think zombies, I immediately think of Danny Boyle, who made one of the most amazing post-apocalyptic zombie movies of all time, 28 Days Later. He’s really been a jack of all trades as a director, but I’m praying that he returns to the horror genre to give us another great film. I think giving him something cheesy to make truly scary would be the ultimate test of his skills as a director.
4. Rawmeat- Rawmeat is essentially The Hills Have Eyes set underground with British accents. It’s about subway workers who were trapped underground years ago, whose children take to murdering people and eating them in the tunnels underground. Gut reaction? Let’s see if Aja wants to do another movie about psycho killers. I know he already made this list, but there really aren’t a lot of choices when it comes to good modern horror directors (especially with James Wan retiring from horror). Another option would be Ryuhei Kitamura, who did the subway horror film The Midnight Meat Train, which was actually pretty engrossing (not good, but entertaining).
3. Pumpkinhead- Do you guys remember the first Pumpkinhead? It was a pretty awesome movie about backwoods justice, and it featured one of the best movie demons of all time. Since then, though, there were some pretty awful sequels, which makes me think that it’s a perfect candidate for a reboot. Just because I think that it would be cool to reboot the series doesn’t mean that it was ever bad, but imagine what someone like Guillermo del Toro could do with the Pumpkinhead character. I mean, he’s made some truly nightmarish creatures in the past and has proven that he knows his way around horror. The only question is who could possibly play Lance Henriksen’s character?
2. Maniac Cop- Remember the picture of the cop macing all those protesters in handcuffs during the Occupy rallies? Well, that’s why I think Maniac Cop could make for a compelling new horror film, especially because the technology available to police has come so far since the 80s. Don’t get me wrong, I respect cops (especially the good ones) and think that they have tough jobs, but the internet has been on fire with videos of some cops abusing their authority and being incredibly brutal with “criminals.” And who else should helm this film than the man who gave us The Raid: Redemption, Gareth Evans? He’s also started branching out into horror recently with his contribution to V/H/S/2. All together, a reboot of this film has the potential to be amazing.
1. Hellraiser- Every Halloween, I watch the first few Hellraiser movies(there are seriously about nine of them now), and while I still enjoy sitting through them once a year, they’re becoming a little dated. That’s why I think a fresh take on the Clive Barker classic could be one of the most horrifying films of the past decade, and who better to bring it to us than the director who gave us the gut-wrenching Evil Dead, Fede Alvarez? He’s a rising star, and letting him do what he’s proven he does best would be amazing. Just imagine the potential for him to make a gory, sadomasochistic film featuring the likes of Pinhead and his Cenobites? My stomach is in knots just thinking about it. Now, I know that there’s been a remake in the works since 2006, but last I heard that’s pretty much dead in the water.