The “Why you should now boycott Cartoon Network immediately” piece.

So I was on my way home from campus one fine morning not long ago when I decided it was the perfect moment to contemplate reviewable material. Of course, I wanted to stay away from the garbage that’s already been torn a few “new ones,” bias and all that. But at the same time, I was a little tired of praising the likes of Arrow and Modern Family again and again. So I chose to wake up early one Saturday morning to catch a glimpse of Green Lantern: The Animated Series. To sum up my first experience succinctly—I loved it. I was a kid again, and man, have visuals come far!

Along the same line of thought, I dragged myself out of bed with the idea of bringing the fine people of the net a new series to rave about. I had seen Cartoon Network’s follow up to Green Lantern (Young Justice), and I found myself equally astonished, and figured “Why wouldn’t you guys be?!” So I bravely plunged into the infinite abyss that is Google, relentlessly searching for images to caption (quite hilariously, if I might add) when I came across it: “Young Justice, Green Lantern: TAS Cancelled?

Luthor: “Suck on that, Super-bitch! I got you fired.”
Superboy: “You got fired too, ya dick!”

IGN reported their absence from Cartoon Network’s spring lineup, and successive admissions from the shows’ creators have all but pissed away the audience’s hope and happiness. This brings me back to the days of my youth. Coming home from school, Dragon Ball Z was on the mind. In only a few hours, my television would come to life with a barrage of fight scenes the likes of which no pubescent boy could resist. I remember watching Goku defeat Frieza and Gohan, Cell, but what I did not get to witness was the conclusion to the series’ final saga. Now think of your favorite TV shows, past and present—can you imagine their finales being withheld from you? Towns would burn.

Gotta fire up the old resume, wolf.

So this is what I propose, and no, it does not compare to the aforementioned violence: Let’s boycott this bitch! Or maybe we as a society should just stop watching television altogether. It seems that compelling new shows are shut down as soon as they gain a following. Even Last Resort, which garnered universal critical acclaim, was nixed in the middle of its first season. And yet The Neighbors somehow survived past its pilot. The productions that replace Green Lantern and Young Justice will probably experience similar fates anyway. So why invest?

Just stop watching the CN, loyal readers. It’s conveying a not-so-subtle message at this point, and that message certainly isn’t consideration for its viewers. So let’s go cold turkey! At least until Beware the Batman premieres this summer. Then… we can watch.

Rest in peace, sweet Hal.
O sweet Hal!
WHY?!?!

2 Responses to What the F***, Cartoon Network?

  1. Zach Moore says:

    They have to make room for quality cartoons that teach real values like Monster High.

  2. ray ban wayfarer…

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