Your twice-weekly digest of selected news from around the entertainment world.

Volume I, Edition 9- One of the only women ever to become pregnant and famous in the same instance asks to be punched by any stranger, Cleveland business suit sales (presumably) see their biggest spike since the rust belt was the steel belt, and one actor fights spiteful, unfunny speech with spiteful, unfunny speech in today’s edition of the News Roundup. Read on.

Tracy Morgan will stab you if you are gay, unless he’s too sleepy

Joseph Hunter (source)

Comedian and 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan recently found himself in a most unfabulous predicament when he was caught voicing a particularly negative opinion on homosexuals, including the assertion that he would stab his son if his son turned out to be gay. Morgan apologized, realizing for once (if too late) that he was not being funny, and many of his fellow 30 Rock stars have come out (if you will) against his comments. Series creator and star Tina Fey noted that this is uncharacteristic of Morgan as she knows him, and that he is “generally much too sleepy and self-centered to ever hurt another person.” Except with side-splitting laughter, am I right, Tina?

Would you box with the Octo-Mom?

Joseph Hunter (source)

In the red corner, we have 34-year-old mother of 14 Nadya Suleman, strapped for cash and lookin’ to wrassle. In the blue corner, we have no one, because really, who’s going to hit the Octo-Mom? Even if you win you lose in this one. Still, Suleman has signed up to enter the Celebrity Boxing ring against anyone—anyone—as long as that opponent is not a trained professional. Could you be that non-professional? How badly do you need a payday? Will Suleman get pregnant again right there in the ring? These questions and more are sure to be answered.

Prize-winning author to pen new Showtime original TV series, citing every good show ever as inspiration

Joseph Hunter (source)

Booker Prize-winning author Salman Rushdie has signed on to write a new original series for Showtime, adding to the premium cable channel’s already impressive lineup. Rushdie, famous for the novels Midnight’s Children and The Satanic Verses, cut his teeth with magic realism, and the forthcoming TV series The Next People will follow suit—with added science fiction elements.

Rushdie believes that television has taken the reins from cinema and literature as the premier way to tell a story, between its creative writing elements and visual aspects. As such, expect the show to be heavily story-oriented, and similar in style and content to—as the author notes—The Wire, Mad Men and The Sopranos.

‘The Avengers’ to include men in suits or something, probably

Joseph Hunter (source)

Last week we reported on the open casting call in Pittsburgh for thugs and crooks for The Dark Knight Rises. It turns out Joss Whedon is doing a similar, yet decidedly more yuppie, casting call for his upcoming The Avengers. Aspiring actors and actresses in the Cleveland area who have not yet lost their personal and civic pride or given up all hope of success in achieving their dreams are asked to show up to casting calls on July 15 and 16 “well-groomed and wearing [their] best business executive outfit.” This is great news for all three Cleveland-area Brooks Brothers retailers, but we can’t help but think it’s somehow inauthentic.

PLUS! The Newsroom Leftovers

Real nonsense compiled by James M.

  • Christian Bale in talks to star in Evan Almighty reboot (source)
  • King’s Speech minor character gets own spin-off, Madonna directs (source)
  • Henry Rollins ventures into Animal Underworld, does not drink frog smoothie (source)
  • Heart-stopping legislation: Summit strives to trademark the Moon (source)

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